25 Jun ‘I Am Bisexual Because I Am Me’

People carry bisexual pride flags during a 2022 Pride parade in Cologne, Germany. (© Raimond Spekking / CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons)

Commentary, Yaslin Rodriguez

This was supposed to be about an experience where I felt a strong sense of pride and empowerment within the LGBTQIA+ community. But, to be honest, I’ve never had one specific time where I’ve felt proud of being bisexual. That might seem like I’m ashamed of it, but I’m not. I mean, I definitely have some internalized homophobia, but I truly am proud of who I am, though it took me a while to get here.

When I was younger, I always admired women. I thought they were beautiful, and I felt a strong connection to them. It was the same for men, but I was made to think it was different. I was taught that my appreciation for women was because I was of the same sex, so it was instinct and that my appreciation for men was because I was a girl, so “naturally,” I would have crushes on them. 

As I grew older and began middle school, I became close friends with a girl. She liked me romantically, but I was so oblivious. I never thought dating a girl would be an option. When she confessed her feelings to me, I was taken aback. I just thought we were best friends. I turned her down. After a while, however, I started to think about the possibility of dating a girl. 

What made me deny it the most was that a huge chunk of my family does not support the LGBTQIA+ community. But after a while, I decided to try it because I felt that I needed to explore to figure out my sexual identity. The girl and I dated for a while but decided quickly that we were better as friends. For me, that was my awakening that I was bisexual. 

>>>Read: To Me, the LGBTQ+ Community Means Family<<<

When I first came out to my biological dad, he told me that he loved me no matter what, but I couldn’t help but notice the comments he would make when seeing a drag queen or a male-appearing person with a wig on. I also noticed the culture of denial of any other sexuality than straight within that side of my family, the Spanish word for the f-slur being thrown around as an insult. 

I started to see my sexuality as a bad thing, and I associated that non-acceptance with religion because that side of my family is very Christian. In turn, I built a hatred for religion and everything related to it because I saw that my family believed that the way that things were supposed to be was man and woman because of their tainted and blind faiths.

Now, however, I see that if God is the way he is preached to be, then he (or she) loves everyone, no matter what. The whole point of God’s love is that he walks with the outcasts. God wants people to have good hearts, hearts that are not hardened and are open to everyone. In that way, I have learned to love and accept myself. My acceptance also came from learning to accept that my bisexuality is not what defines me but a part of me. I am not me because I am bisexual; I am bisexual because I am me. I have pride in my whole self as a person. I love myself, and so, therefore, I love my sexuality.

To anyone who is struggling with accepting themself because of their sexuality, just know that sexuality is fluid. And just because you’re a man who likes pink or a woman who likes sports, for example, that does not mean you are gay.

To love yourself, figure out what makes you happy. Once you do that, you can find happiness in living a life that you love and making decisions that fuel a healthy version of yourself. I carry my pride in my everyday life by respecting myself and making good decisions that will make me feel happy and feel good about myself.