19 Aug Growing Up Means Growing Closer to My Culture

(Photo courtesy of Arianna Viengvilay)

Commentary, Arianna Viengvilay

As the eighth grandchild in my family, I was heavily raised around family tradition and the importance of keeping traditions alive. My favorite family tradition is in April during Laos New Year, led by my aunties. As a family, we come together to show our gratitude to our elders and pray, thanking God for another full year and asking for many more. It is my favorite tradition because it’s a time where the family all comes together. We all take time out of our busy lives to celebrate and honor our elders, something that has been passed down for generations. 

Growing up, my aunties were very hard on us younger children when it came to learning about our culture and traditions. Of course, as a young child, I thought they were just trying to nag at me. Now, I understand how much effort they put into our family and all they did to make sure we grew up knowing these important traditions. 

And as I get older, I am starting to be more intrigued by my culture and family traditions. Like the tradition of the tying of hands, where we take a piece of white yarn a little longer than wrist length and tie it on the person we are putting blessings upon; as you tie the yarn on the person’s wrist, you pray over them. I have also become more curious about my family’s history. I want to know more about my grandma’s upbringing and how she decided what traditions to continue on and why. I want to learn about my grandpa that I never met that we only talk about vaguely. I want to be able to take traditions like the gratitude to the elders and the tying of hands and be able to educate my future children of it. 

I believe that my family has become so Americanized. I see a lot of my cousins aren’t as passionate or in touch with our culture and that scares me. What if these traditions — that are already watered down — that our family has been doing for generations, die with us? I fear that maybe our culture won’t be passed down to our children, and if that’s the case, then how will our children know about their ancestors? How will they know where they are from? What will happen once our elders die and we have no one to teach us these traditions? 

My Auntie Sivanh and Auntie Chan have definitely been the glue for the family these past couple of years. They plan every holiday, every family event and make sure that everyone is included no matter how many times they didn’t show up. I know that as all my cousins and I have grown up, it’s definitely gotten harder for a lot of us to gather at the same time. Especially with so many of us being in our early years of life, it’s harder with school and work being main factors in our lives.  

One thing I know I will forever carry with me is what my father has taught me: It doesn’t matter when it is, what it is — when it comes to family, you make the time. No matter how busy you are, you find a way and you always show up. Since my senior year, I have been trying to show up for my family more and more than I have in the past year. I went through that teen phase where I felt like I was better than everything and didn’t want to make time for anything. But as I’ve entered this new stage in life, I realized I want to have these memories with my family. I want my siblings and cousins to look back and remember that their cousin was there for their game, recital, whatever it was. Their cousin Arianna was there and that’s all that matters. 

Recently, my little cousin who is turning 16 this year called me his “coolest cousin” and that made my head big for sure. When I realized he was talking about me I was like, OK, I am definitely doing something right. 

As my cousins and I grow up, I hope we can take what our family taught us and apply it to life. I hope we can be more involved when it comes to our culture. I hope we don’t let these traditions die with our generation. I hope we take the wisdom from our uncles about always sticking together and lessons from our aunties when it comes to bringing the family together no matter the season and no matter how busy everyone is.

Most of all, I hope we remember and pass down our most important lesson from our grandma, the lesson of family and how important it is to have them in our lives.