27 Oct My Grandma Unites Our Family With Food

The author’s little sister and grandmother baking together. (Courtesy of Arianna Caramagno)

Commentary, Arianna Caramagno

Some of my best memories with my grandma were made when she let me help her in the kitchen. As a child, I thought she just really enjoyed baking and cooking. But as I grew older, I realized that making food was more than just an opportunity for us to make something delicious together — it was a way for us to connect to our family and heritage.

My grandma has been an expert cook and a constant presence in my life ever since I could remember. Chocolate chip cookies, spaghetti and arancini are just a handful of the dishes I helped her make over the years. I lived with her up until I was 4 years old when my family decided to move one town over. But even after we began living separately, we started a tradition of eating dinner together every Sunday.

My time in the kitchen with her has allowed me to receive her wise words of advice. Along with continually teaching me the importance of responsibility and kindness, she also always warns me of my bad procrastination habits, which I unfortunately only began taking to heart after becoming an adult. But what has truly stuck with me over the years is the importance she places in staying close to family, no matter the emotional or physical distance between us.

Almost all of my extended family is scattered across California and nearby states. Most of our relatives are only a few hours’ drive away, but it is still difficult for everyone to set aside time to visit each other in person. A lot of our interactions consist of phone calls, texts and FaceTimes, which are nice but don’t compare to actually being together.

The few times a year we do meet face to face with our relatives, my grandma always ensures there is food for us to share. During the holiday season, she bakes enough cookies to give away to our entire extended family and neighbors. On Thanksgiving, she is always there to lend a helping hand when something inevitably gets burnt or otherwise goes wrong.

When bringing food to family gatherings, my grandma always finds a way to make us feel seen and loved. No matter what, she always tries to make something that everyone will be able to enjoy, even if that involves altering her recipes for picky eaters or for people who have food allergies. 

Although I didn’t realize it when I was younger, my grandma does more than just create delicious food for everyone’s enjoyment. Through making different recipes and inviting others to help her in the kitchen, she was finding a way to bring us all together to enjoy familiar foods under the same roof. Though time and distance separated our family, the recipes that had been passed down through her stayed the same. 

Sharing family recipes has allowed us to connect on a deeper level with each other and our culture. Sharing our mistakes and successes while making food with our relatives has become a way for us to bond. It has also encouraged the children in our family to to learn the recipes that have been passed down in our family for generations and keep the tradition alive.

Although the dishes I make have yet to be quite as good as hers, I hope to one day learn how to connect my family through meals just like her.